I once heard, “Every girl needs a pair of red shoes.”
The day of my first drum lesson I was SO nervous! Leading up to that day I had been fantasizing about being able to rock the old drum set I had recently acquired from my dad, but reality brought such an onslaught of fear and trepidation that somehow didn’t accompany the fun-filled fantasy.
Prior to that, my psyche was stuffed full of excitement, anticipation, and confidence in my desire to take on the challenge of a new instrument. I was ready!…and then…suddenly…I wasn’t. What am I thinking? Why am I doing this? I’m in my late thirties and I have five kids! Who does stuff like this? Should I really be spending money on myself this way? I don’t have the time for this! I’ve never drummed before in my life! People will think I’m the biggest joke when they know what I’m doing! Will the instructor think I’m a joke, too? Like I’m even going to be any good anyways!
Okay, SLAM the brakes!!
That was getting a bit ridiculous! Yes, I was nervous, but why the destructive thoughts? It’s interesting that so much of what we experience in life is colored so vividly by what we choose to tell ourselves about the world around us. One minute I believed in myself, and the next I didn’t at all! What had changed?? Absolutely nothing, other than my mind. Quieting the inner chatter and learning to trust in our initial promptings, impressions, and decisions can be difficult, but that trust can also be wildly empowering. I must admit, however, sometimes that inner trust needs just a little push from an external source. I didn’t really want to show up late for my first lesson, and I really didn’t want to show up as a hot mess either! Looking for that spunk I felt when inspired to adventure into drumming in the first place, I grabbed my pair of vintage red sneakers and headed out the door. As I pulled up to the Music Village in Riverdale, Utah, I still had an over abundance of butterflies, but as I glimpsed flashes of red on my feet, my heart took courage.
Shoes are funny that way! Simply changing what’s on your feet can change what’s in your head, and that day I needed confidence. Fortunately I found it in my footwear! I know, I know, lasting change comes from the inside out, it’s true, but until then, I’ll just keep sporting my red shoes. 🙂
***As a side note; isn’t it ironic? (Don’t ya think), that now when I play, I take my shoes off. Turns out I like socks!***